Spotting A Stalker
Stalking has become one of the top criminal offenses in recent years and the statistics keep climbing. A lot of people want to blame this on the introduction of the Internet but the truth is that stalking has been going on many years before anyone ever heard of in home computers. Honestly, stalking has most likely been going on since the days of the cavemen. Of course, THOSE guys simply TOOK the women they wanted, and that was that. Things are a lot different now in spite of the fact that most stalkers still have that caveman mentality. Granted, anyone can be at risk for becoming a victim of a stalker. However, people that are active in the dating scene tend to be more susceptible. Thats not meant to be critical of people that enjoy dating. Its just that these people are exposed to the possibility more.
Many of these victims found themselves as the object of a stalker after beginning an online friendship. It really doesnt matter whether these friendships stayed online or evolved into face to face meetings. If someone is Internet savvy enough, they can find out anything they want to know about someone. The only way you can be positive of being one hundred percent safe from people discovering things about you is if you hold a high government job. Even then, all of your secrets may not be safe.
With online dating being so prevalent these days, its important to take some extra precautions. Now, women are typically the most common victims of stalking but there have been plenty of cases reported where men were the victims. That just means that everyone, no matter what gender you are or what your sexual persuasion is, should always exercise caution when meeting someone new.
While a lot of times, the stalker seems perfectly normal at first, there may still be small signs that somethings a bit off. For example, if he starts immediately planning a future with you on the first date, you may want to back off pretty fast. Anytime someone attaches to you that quickly, it means something isnt right.
Its not always that easy to spot these abnormalities, but if you find yourself constantly running into someone even in out of the way places, theres a good chance youre being followed and dont realize it. If someone keeps calling you even though youre constantly getting a new unlisted number, you might be in trouble. Also, dont discount the arrival of unwanted gifts, although once things get to this stage, youre probably going to need the help of the police and a restraining order.
Something that you can usually spot in the beginning, though, is the way he looks at you. Theres an intensity that has no business being there so soon. If you notice this, or your intuition just tells you that somethings not right, dont hesitate to cut off all contact on your end. The faster you do it the better.
Dont feel dumb, though, if you do happen to attract a stalker. There are many instances in where you dont even realize that youve come into contact with someone of this nature. It could simply be someone you passed in the grocery store or rode the subway with. Sometimes theres just no way to know, but by following a few common sense rules, you can keep yourself safer.
Divorce and Hidden Assets
Not surprisingly, assets are often hidden in a divorce situation. Why – well simply greed, or the feelings of betrayal or anger at the need to divide assets in the divorce, or the fear of not having enough after the divorce all motivate the behavior of hiding assets.
In divorce, the parties assets are divided. Under the divorce laws of some states they are divided equally and under the divorce laws of other states, they are divided “equitably” or fairly. Equitably often means equally to overworked divorce judges.
There is no way to know in advance if your spouse has or will hide assets in a divorce. You know your spouse better than your divorce attorney will and you will need to alert your attorney to the possibility of your spouse hiding assets. Before you get to that point, however, there are some easy steps to take to prevent your spouse from being able to hide assets. Those steps include finding out everything you can about your assets before divorce.
Before you alert your spouse that you are considering divorce, you need to compile and/or stockpile documentation about all of your assets. If you do not have knowledge of your marital assets, it is time to find out what is there. If bank and other statements come to the house, open them and write down account numbers and balances.
If you have access to the cancelled checks, copy those as well. It is not unusual for a spouse who is planning a divorce to transfer money to friends or relatives with the plan being that they will give that money back after a divorce is finalized. So, you should review those records and carefully scrutinize all large or suspicious transfers that take place in the two or three years prior to or just after the filing of a divorce action.
Make sure that you know where the copies of your income tax statements are. If your spouse has a business, make sure you have a copy of several years of tax returns for that business. All of these documents can be copied and hidden safely somewhere outside of the house in the event that you need them. Taking these simple pre-emptive steps can mean the difference in obtaining a fair settlement in divorce. It will also be incredibly helpful to your divorce attorney to have this information in advance.
If banking and other statements and financial records are not kept at or mailed to your house, you will need to obtain those records in other ways. You can contact the IRS to obtain copies of any tax returns that you signed. Request copies of those returns and have them mailed to a different address – either a friend or relative or your divorce attorney. If there are returns that you have not signed, such as business tax records, you will not be able to obtain copies of those returns from the IRS. If you have access to your spouse’s place of business, you may be able to find those tax returns there. If you are worried about your spouse hiding assets in a divorce, you really do need to find those returns and make copies of them – for as many years as possible.
If you have valuables, antiques, jewelry, art or other collectibles in your home, catalog all of them and if you have appraisals, make copies. It is not unusual for those items to disappear or even to be pawned by a spouse in need of more funds.
If you suspect that your spouse has engaged in some divorce planning and is hiding assets, let your divorce attorney know. Ask your divorce attorney to subpoena records from any other individual or entity who could be involved in assisting your spouse in hiding those assets. If need be, your attorney can use the services of an investigator to help to obtain financial records that have been withheld.
Should You Take Your Man Home For The Holidays
If youre lucky, then youve got a family thats supportive of you and the decisions you make regarding your life. This includes supporting your choice of a partner. For these families, new boyfriends will be welcomed with open arms as a potential new family member someday. Belonging to a family of this type means that you dont have to hide who youre dating because he may not be rich enough, handsome enough or have a high enough standing in his community. You can relax about introducing your new man to your family and know that everything will be fine.
The unfortunate other side of the coin are the families that are controlling and judgmental. With these families, it doesnt matter WHO you bring home to meet them. If hes not a Kennedy or a Rockefeller, then you may as well not even bother. Hell be grilled by all members of your family, particularly by your parents, and most likely made to feel as if he should be staying in a hotel rather than in their guest bedroom that night. No one is ever going to meet the approval of these people, and thats a truly sad state of affairs. Its people that come from these families that take off as soon as possible and move as far away as they can get to make their lives.
In the end, its really up to you as to whether your new boyfriend is ready to take on your family, especially during the holidays. Now, if your family is more like the first type discussed, youve most likely already told them about this amazing new man in your life and they cant wait to meet him. The holidays can be the perfect time to introduce him because everything will be warm and welcoming anyway. You also most likely dont have to worry about how he will be treated by your family members.
On the other hand, if your family fits in mostly with the second type, you probably want to think long and hard about whether youll risk ruining the holidays by exposing your boyfriend to their rudeness and insanity. The thing you need to understand before making this decision is that its not YOUR fault that your family doesnt know how to treat people. In fact, you should probably consider yourself lucky at having dodged that bullet of inherited madness and inhospitality. Sometimes, it just works out that way. In the middle of a family with no manners or breeding, there shines one lonely, but bright, star that manages to emerge from the midst of the darkness. If youre that bright shining star, its probably best to glow with people more like you rather than return to the blackness of your familial abyss.
The holidays are meant to be a happy time and you should be able to celebrate it as such with your new man. Just because those awful people are related to you by blood doesnt mean that you have to claim them. Spend the holidays in a happy and loving way with your partner. Who knows? Maybe HIS family is normal and you can spend the holidays with them.
Divorce and Alimony Formula
In divorce, a common question is, “what is the alimony formula”. Well, there really is no set alimony formula for divorce. This is in complete contrast to child support, which is decided based upon a specific formula in each state. Alimony is based on factors and those factors are decided through divorce negotiation or by a divorce judge. But, there is no alimony formula available to your divorce attorney or you to determine in advance what alimony will be paid in your case.
What does a divorce court look at to determine alimony? Those issues do vary by state. But, there are also many alimony factors that are common from state to state. So, although there is no specific alimony formula for you to rely on, there are alimony factors that you can look at to help you determine what the alimony might be in your case.
In divorce, some of the alimony factors that a judge might look at include the following. First is the length of your marriage. If the parties have been married for one year, the court’s attitude towards a request for alimony will be very different than if the parties have been married for twenty years. Because the length of marriage varies so much in all divorces, it is not possible to plug this factor into an alimony forumla to determine the alimony amount.
Another factor affecting the award of alimony is employment status. Obviously, if the spouse seeking alimony has been unemployed or underemployed for a number of years to care for young children, the home, or the spouse, that is a factor that will militate in that spouse’s favor if he or she is seeking alimony. On the other hand, if that spouse has the ability to obtain employment that will more than adequately meet his or her needs, the court might think a little differently about awarding alimony to that party. Other factors that are considered closely with this factor include level of education, job experience, the age of children in the household, and work history.
A major factor that can affect an award of alimony is the amount of property to be retained or divided by the parties. If the spouse seeking alimony has been a stay at home parent, but will have signifcant assets after divorce or has separate assets, like a trust fund, the court’s attitude towards the award of alimony will be affected. The court will certainly view a request for alimony under these circumstances much different than a request made by an individual who is receiving no assets in the divorce or who does not have any separate property.
The health of the party seeking alimony is a major factor that can impact a court’s decision in awarding alimony. If the spouse seeking alimony has a debilitating physical condition that impacts whether or how much they can work, the court will not want to impoverish that party after divorce and the court will be more likely to use alimony to address at least basic living needs.
One other factor that should be considered by the divorce court and by the parties, is the taxability of the alimony payments. In most instances, if there is no specific provision to the contrary, spousal support payments are taxable to the recipient and tax deductible to the payor. The tax benefit obtained by spreading out economic wealth in this fashion can be significant and should be discussed in depth with your divorce attorney.
One issue that is not always considered by the court, but should be discussed with your divorce attorney, is that alimony payments are, in general, not dischargeable in bankruptcy. If there is any possibility that the party who is to pay alimony will be filing for bankruptcy, the divorce attorneys will negotiate very hard on both sides to maximize the final benefit to their client in divorce.
It should thus be apparent that in divorce, there can be no easy alimony forumla, no matter what state you live in. It is impossible to plug these and other factors into a mathematical equation to arrive at a “correct” alimony formula. It is necessary that the divorce court, or the divorce attorneys review how these varied and different factors affect both parties in the divorce and then arrive at a solution that encompasses all of the divorce issues, including property settlement and alimony. They cannot simply set up an alimony formula that would work for all parties.
Write Your Own Great Love Story
Unless youve been living your life under rock, youve heard about such couples as Romeo and Juliet, Tristan and Isolde, Lancelot and Guinevere, and Mark Antony and Cleopatra. These are some of the greatest love stories of all time. The love and passion of these couples may have colored the expectations of women throughout the years when it comes to their own relationships. Thats a terrible mistake, though.
To begin with, look at the way these relationships ended. They all had very tragic consequences to be suffered and none of them got their happily ever after ending. That should be the number one reason that you dont look to these couples as examples of how relationships should be. Yes, they were all very passionate love affairs, but the events got all twisted and resulted in death at the end, and not just the death of the relationships. These couples either died from grief or killed themselves. Now, seriously, just how happy do those relationships sound?
What you want to do with your relationship is to not compare it to those great love stories. You want to write your own love story and make it even greater than those youve read and heard about. Real love stories can be just as passionate and romantic as the great ones, but you can have an actual happy ending. All you have to do is live in the present and look forward to the future. Dont dwell on things that may have gone wrong in the past or may have been what you thought was perfection. Nothing is perfect, not ever, and you need to also understand that if youre going to have your own great love story.
Romance doesnt have to be tragic to be meaningful. Go with your feelings but also inject a bit of common sense and realism into your relationship. Those great love stories also had an element of insanity in them, and youll see this if you read them carefully. You can have all the romance in your relationship that you can handle. All you need to do is be with the right person. The relationship you have can be a happy one, and that happiness doesnt need to be fleeting, like in those great love stories. You can have happiness in your relationship all the time. Just make the right choices.
Youll notice a common theme in these stories is that one or both lovers belonged to someone else, whether through marriage or betrothal. Everyone knows that getting involved with someone thats already attached is a bad idea, and if you dont believe that, then youre a very naïve person. Youre also not very serious about having a true happy relationship. Most likely, you want to feel that passion of the forbidden even though it wont end well and certainly not in your favor.
Think clearly about the choices you make when it comes to love and romance. In the end, you can simply write your own great love story and it will better than anything youve ever read or seen on the big screen.