How To Fix My Relationship

Posts Tagged ‘dating’

Friendship Involvement In Your Dating- Not Always Good

By blits On January 21, 2012 No Comments

Friendship Involvement In Your Dating- Not Always Good

If you have too much friendship involvement in your dating, politely tell them to back off. They are your friends and they mean well but you are trying to build a life with this one special person you have found and do not need your friends butting in and ruining things for you.

If this is the first serious relationship you have had in a while then you are going to want to put all of your energy into getting things right and your friends may feel a little left out. Tell you what, get together with all of your friends and explain the situation with them. Buy the first or second rounds and tell them in no uncertain terms that you still care about them but this person is special and you want to see it through.

This is not leaving them out in the cold. Hopefully they will understand and give you some space to get a solid start with this new person. When the time is right tell them you want to introduce the new special someone to them. They should be on their best behavior and paint you in a good light, not try to embarrass you right off the bat. If they do, just excuse yourselves from them and talk to them later. Do not allow friendship involvement in your dating.

When everyone gets to know and like each other then you all can plan activities together. Until then keep your friends at arm’s length. Just tell them you are doing so. Do not blindside them with this. They will get jealous and either start demanding more of your time or just fade away into the woodwork, never to be seen again.

There is enough of you to go around, believe me. When the relationship has weathered the course and is strong and healthy, then the friends can all come on board and then the sky is the limit and all bets are off. Your new found love and your friends may get along famously and you may find yourself the butt of many a joke. Just go with it and try not to let it make you angry.

If it does make you a little bent out of shape then do not confront the friend or friends who made the comment that made you angry. call them later and tell them how you feel. Your friendships are important to you and you want to be able to keep them healthy, also.

As long as things are kept balanced, you can enjoy times with your friends and times with your new love and times with them all combined in one place. A word of advice, make plans well in advance and make sure everyone has all the particulars of the get-together. You know the when, where, what time, and what to bring, if applicable.

Keeping things as balanced as possible will help when there is too much friendship involvement in your dating.

Done With Dating-Not Always A Bad Idea

By blits On January 11, 2012 No Comments

Done With Dating-Not Always A Bad Idea

If you just had another break up and have decided that you are done with dating that might not be such a bad idea, for now. No one says you can’t take a break now and then. The dating world can be brutal, at times. Sometimes you just need to take a step back and breathe for a while.

Take some time for yourself and just relax no one says you always have to have the trophy on your arm. Well, they might say it but it isn’t true. Learn to be yourself and for yourself, first. You are the important one here. Figure out who you are without that trophy on your arm or in your bed. This may be difficult for some of you reading this.

Learning to be alone can be somewhat of an ordeal and you may not like it at first, but you will get used to it and may eventually even learn to like it. It is all up to you, actually. If you sit around moping all the time then you will not learn to like it one bit but if you get out and see the world in your own way with your own eyes without having someone to answer to then you will see that you can survive on your own.

That is the best part of being done with dating, by the way. Not having anyone to answer to, coming and going as you please and not having someone looking over your shoulder at every turn no matter what you do.

Maybe that wasn’t it at all, maybe the ones you were with let you have your space. Maybe you are just tired of your relationships not working out. Then by all means, take a break, you deserve it. Do some self maintenance, learn something new so you have something new to bring to the table next time you decide to get involved in a relationship.

I know you may think that is all easier said than done but look at it this way, if you join a gym or take a class at the local community college you may just meet the one you were meant to be with and how great would that be? To finally have a relationship you could be proud of and really want to show off the new guy or gal to your friends would be absolutely awesome.

So what are you going to do? Not jump right into another dead end relationship with the same type of person, right? You are going to do some inner work on you first and then you are going to join a gym and get in shape or you are going to take a class at the community college and learn something new.

Anything you can do to feel like you are growing a little will be a big boost to your system and help you become a better person. You will gain more confidence and that confidence will be very attractive to your next would be partner. You will hold yourself differently and you will be noticed. So be done with dating for a while but not forever, the perfect one for you is out there.

General Tips On Dating-It Doesnt Have To Be Scary

By blits On January 5, 2012 No Comments

General Tips On Dating-It Doesnt Have To Be Scary

It can be a bit scary when you are first entering the dating world, either for the first time or re-entering the dating world as a senior. There are some things that you can do to help increase your success with dating. Regardless of your age there may be things about the dating process that you aren’t very confident with. A lot of the dating process is natural instinct but there are still things that you can do to prepare yourself for your dating adventure. You can use your common sense and that will get you a long way but there are still many things that you can do to increase your chance of making a connection with someone nice.

Many things change over the years and even dating has undergone some changes so if you are re-entering the dating world as a senior you may need to get updated. Life in general is very different today than it was 40 years ago, for example, it is quite normal these days for a woman to ask a man out, whereas many years ago that was unheard of. If you are interested in a woman you can still ask her out or at least try to spend some time together doing something you both like, so that if she does ask you out you can say no comfortably without destroying her feelings.

Internet dating is another thing that is new to the dating world and going back 40 years we didn’t even have computers. The internet is a very useful tool for meeting someone new and it can increase your chance of meeting someone that you are compatible with. When you join an online dating website you fill in your details and include your interests and the dating service will match you to people with similar interests. Although, the internet does have its dangers and you could be talking to someone that is pretending to be someone they are not, so you do need to be careful when using the internet to meet people.

The best thing that you can do when going out on a date is to be yourself. If the person doesn’t like you for who you are then it is not worth proceeding with a long term relationship with that person anyway. For a long term relationship to be successful you need to be with someone that likes you for who you are and not for someone you are pretending to be. If you pretend to be someone you’re not when you first start dating then at some stage you will need to show your true self. It is better for your partner to see the true you right from the start so they can decide then whether they are interested in dating you long term. Being sincere and genuine with your date is most important.

Then there are the common sense tips like being considerate of the other person’s feelings. Even if you know on your first date that this is not the person you want to date long term, you should still be considerate of their feelings. Don’t make it obvious that you are having a terrible time and just want to leave, see the date out, be pleasant and then go your separate ways at the end of the date. You should always treat your date the way that you would expect to be treated yourself. Just try to have fun anyway and then when your date is finished you can leave and move on.

Depression And Dating -Tips To Help Cope

By blits On January 3, 2012 No Comments

Depression And Dating -Tips To Help Cope

Severe clinical depression is a condition that affects several million Americans and many others suffer from a milder form of depression that may include a diagnosis of anxiety. Dating can be a pain in the behind for healthy individuals but even though depression and dating can present you with a whole different set of problems, there are ways to cope with your depression while dating.

First, if you were prescribed medication for your depression be sure to take it as it as prescribed. If anxiety is a part of your depressive state then make sure and take your anti-anxiety medication before your date to lessen the chance you will lose control on the date.

A typical first date lasts three hours, anyone can make it through three hours. If you find yourself getting into some trouble and can’t control your anxiety, just excuse yourself from the table and go to the bathroom. Take a paper towel and wet it then place it on the back of your neck and do some deep breathing to calm yourself. Only when you are ready should you return to the table to resume your date.

You have done everything right, you spent the time making sure your clothes, hair and make-up were perfect. You have nothing to worry about. Everything is going great, you will be fine as long as you don’t do anything to sabotage this date. Do not talk about anything too heavy if especially if this is your first date. You will scare off your date quicker than anything if you do this.

Try to stay laid back and have some fun. If you concentrate on enjoying yourself and enjoying the other person your depression and dating will not become an issue. If the relationship continues on further then you will have to divulge that you are dealing with depression but it does not have to be brought up on the first date.

While on your date do not try to force anything, keep expectations off the table. Just let things flow and let the date work itself out. If there is some attraction then that’s good, just do not act too clingy or needy. Your date will pick up on this neediness and won’t just run away, they will run away screaming. Keep yourself to yourself and just go home after the date.

After a while when you feel comfortable with this person, tell them you are dealing with depression and that you take medication everyday for it. They will see that you are doing all you can to stay healthy and will applaud you for your efforts.

If your depression is a true chemical imbalance, you will need to continue taking your medication for the rest of your life but, on the other hand, if your depression is situational then you may be able to stop the medication at some point and just keep seeing your therapist. This can be true especially if you find the love of your life and they are willing and able to help you through the rough patches.

Depression and dating is possible, you just have to be strong enough to handle both at the same time.

Dating Relationships In Todays Times- Pro And Cons

By blits On December 25, 2011 No Comments

Dating Relationships In Todays Times- Pro And Cons

Do you think dating relationships in todays times are easier or harder? In my opinion, I think there are pros and cons. In some ways connecting is easier than ever before, but there are some serious drawbacks to our society when it comes to really getting to know someone.

On the plus side, we have more ways than ever for meeting someone we may actually have something in common with. With all the social networking sites online like Facebook and Twitter, staying in touch is easy.

It’s also easy to find people who share the same interests with you on these sites. That’s not even counting all the online dating sites that can match you as much, or as little, as you like with other people.

All that, and cell phones too, can make it easy to meet people who you may not have had the opportunity to meet in your day to day life before. Being able to meet people from all over your hometown, state or the world, can certainly open up your possibilities, but it does come with a cost.

Even though dating relationships in todays times make it easier to find people, people you may never have had the chance to meet in the past, it can also make it harder to establish a real connection.

Even if the two of you are able to meet and go out on a date, the constant ringing of a cell phone can make it harder to really carry on a conversation and get to know each other.

We also live in a very hectic, high stress time. That can take it’s toll on any relationships, not just your romantic ones. Being really able to get to know others and shut out the day to day distractions and stress can be a real challenge.

With it so easy to meet new people, that also takes away some of the necessity to really try to work out issues in a relationship. For example, if you and your significant other start having problems, a “replacement” can be just a few clicks away. Our high tech society has made it easier to bail on difficult situations since it’s easier than ever to “go out” and meet someone new.

So, for anyone who is dating at this time in their life, you can make the rules for yourself. Use all the technology as a great way to meet people you may never have been able to meet in the past. Venture out past your comfort zone, meet someone from a different culture or country. Use technology to your advantage.

But, you don’t have to let the distractions and the stress that all that technology can bring cause problems. You set your own limits. It’s up to you. Try to meet people with similar outlooks.

For example, if you think it’s rude to text during a date (it is, unless it’s a true emergency) only date people who feel the same way you do, with so many places to look, it shouldn’t be too hard to find someone like you.

There are good and bad points to dating relationships in todays times, just find ways to get the best while avoiding the worst.